"Why, Dad?"

In the dream my friend was telling me about, a beautiful rocking chair was broken to pieces by my dad and it really hurt me and as I was listening to her tell me her dream I asked (in my mind) the question, "Why, Dad?".

Ever had to handle disappointment?  Yes, it is something we have to handle.  It is so hard sometimes.  I still have a tough time handling the recent miscarriage my wife and I suffered, and we really have the right to have a hard time with disappointment, but God...

Those two little words, "But God" are meant to bring comfort and hope, but often times they seem so trite and unhelpful; especially when you still lost your baby.  Our neighbors lost everything in a house fire and we could say, "But God", but $200.00 in Wal-Mart gift cards and an air mattress is all you get to replace it, "But God" seems cheap and patronizing.

When disappointment comes, we think we have to buck up and pretend we are happy with the situation.  No!, I say a resounding, No! But I still lost my baby...

In the dream, my dad gave us a cheap replacement rocking chair that he had painted rainbow colored.  It was not as good as the one we had before.  I could not see how this was better.  It was not better.

Here are the right words to say when hope has been deferred; "Though you slay me, I will trust you."; "Never the less, Thy will be done."; "In the end, it will all work out."

But I'm not in the end!

I don't think your will is good at all!

I don't want to be slain!

Then He comes.  He say's, "I'm here."  And in a way that only Jesus can do, it brings peace.  Only Jesus could take a cheap replacement rocking chair and turn it into a blessing just by sitting in it.  And I guess that is what it is all about.  My circumstance will always fail me, but Jesus never will.  His presence is enough for me,... no, it is "all" for me.

"Dave, you still lost your baby, your neighbor's daughter is sleeping on the hardest bed known to mankind (a pile of wood would be more comfortable), abortion is still seen as something that is a viable option, fathers are not turning their hearts back to their children as quickly as they should and the economy is still bleeding out but I AM here."