What was once, and could be again, a beautiful garden is now overwhelmed with weeds. Let me cut to the chase. Obviously I am not talking about gardens or weeds with this post. I am talking about our hearts. We bring them to Jesus is a furious rush of love and in the rapture of those first moments in relationship with Christ, we are much like a freshly tilled and planted garden. The plants have been placed with such joy and anticipation. The soil is rich and inviting. The weather is perfect for germination and the coaxing of life from the seeds we have planted.
Then the weeds.
It seems that over night, our hearts are savagely swarmed by these squatters that simply were not invited to the party. We pulled them all out when we tilled the garden. We threw them into the burn pile with such great joy. In our heart of hearts, we wanted only the good fruit of our garden to be found in our garden. When we see these weeds, we wonder, "Who did this? I thought I got rid of them all! How could this happen! I am so ashamed and embarrassed by my heart and the darkness it contains."
Two things I want to share with you at this point. As a new gardener, I am currently engaged with a battle with weeds in my garden and in my heart. Also, I believe that we (the Church) are currently in this season of battle against spiritual weeds. So I hope that what I share here will be a help to you.
I spoke to one of my neighbors the other day and as my wife and I were looking at her Herb garden, Rachel asked, "how do you get rid of all the weeds, do you spray?" My heart sank as I knew that Rachel had noticed all of the weeds in my garden. I had recently spent several hours weeding our front flower garden by pulling out the vile things by hand. But my vegetable garden was still full of the things. Our neighbor said, "Oh, by hand. My husband uses a hoe, but I like to get in there with my hands and pull them out." Then my wife asked, "How do you get rid of all of them? We have so many." My neighbor explained, "With a new garden, that is what you get. All those seeds lay dormant in the soil and as you till up the soil and add food and water, they start to wake up and germinate. Keep at it. Next year will be easier."
This truth hit me like a lightening bolt. I had not been attacked by a hateful neighbor who sowed weed seeds in my garden. I had not failed to pull them all out like I thought. The seeds of the weeds were already in the soil. They just had not germinated yet.
So, when you find yourself living a life with Jesus Christ and all of the sudden you wake up to find your heart swarmed with things you thought you had gotten rid of and even new and different things that you never knew were in you, just remember that it is not your failure that caused this. You are not a disappointment to God. He is not looking at you and thinking, "Wow! I did not see that one coming." You did not know this stuff was in you, but He did when He welcomed you into His arms. Look at this season of growing and battling weeds as an opportunity to uproot the weeds that you did not know about, but lay dormant in your heart. Better to get rid of them as soon as possible so you won't have to deal with them later. And just as my neighbor so lovingly put it to us, "Next year will be easier." The next growing cycle you go through as a Christian will likely produce some more weeds that lay dormant still. But it won't be as many and it won't be as discouraging for you. Next season will be easier.
Remember that this life is a process. It is the Highway of holiness, not the transporter beam of holiness. It is a journey to be embraced and not an instantaneous reconfiguration of your heart.
I want to leave you with this final story of encouragement.
I was standing in front of our church sanctuary one day praying for some people. I looked at them and with the eyes of my heart, I saw them as frightened little children who really needed Jesus to come and take care of them. Suddenly, I could see myself that way too. I was having a deeply spiritual experience with God, but it was disturbing me. Rather than seeing my need for Christ to come and sustain me and carry me, I saw my own wickedness and darkness and began to feel unworthy of praying for these people. In my heart I spoke this prayer to God; "How can you stand to love me? I have so much darkness in me." Without any hesitation and is quite the startling manner, Jesus began speaking to me. He spoke the following words to my heart in a way that only Jesus can. I hope you will hear them as I did and be set free from fear and condemnation for the short falls.
Jesus said, "David, it is a whole lot darker than you think." This hurt my feelings at first and just as I was about to say, "I did not realize it was that bad.", He continued, "But I love you a whole lot more than you think." Even faster than my own heart could condemn me, Jesus Christ had crashed through the wall and set me free.
Do you get how vast this love is?
Do you sense its depth?
We mistakenly assume that we are loveable. We are not. We have nothing redeemable in and of ourselves. I thought that the garden of my heart was pretty good until the weeds showed up. And God just says, "There are more weeds in your garden that you could ever hope to pull out, but I love your garden so much more that you think I do." Is it not a great thing that God's love is not depending on our performance? The weeds need to be dealt with for sure, but they are not keep Him from loving us.
Romans 8:38-39
For while we were yet weak, in due season Christ died for the ungodly.
Romans 5:6
Next year will be easier, don't give up.
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