Turning Hearts (some more)

I just can't seem to shake this theme.  Every once in a while, a divine thought gets dropped in your head and it is not meant to fade way with time.  We are supposed to meditate upon it and chew until we are able to rightly apply it to our lives.  I think all of us are adapt at understanding the concept behind Malachi 4 (Fathers must take on the task of raising the children and children must embrace the leading of the fathers or life will fall apart).  I also think that it is pretty easy to see that the world around us is not falling apart, it is already in pieces on the ground for so many people. 

I even see the Ad Council putting up billboards encouraging dad's to just show up every once in a while.  The phrase "take time top be a dad today" shows how simple it is for even the government to clue into the need. If sociologists are finally noting the harm caused by fatherlessness, we are way past the point of warning; we have been swimming in the curse.

When I look at youth in my church's youth group, I find a grand total of 5 families that have full time dads in the home.  And just because those dad's are in the home, does not mean that they are fulfilling their role as a father.  in either case, that leaves me with about 75% of the youth either not having a solid relationship with their fathers or not even knowing who they are at all.  This is a huge vacuum that the enemy has so precisely created in order to fill with second hand hope and empty promises.  If any of these young people were lucky enough to have mothers who stepped in with effort to try and father their kids, they have been kept alive on a sort of emotional life support.  Even youth ministry itself is providing this function.  We are giving what direction we can and supporting as much as possible, but the youth in our spheres of influence will not thrive in this environment, but simply survive.  Try as their mothers and our youth ministry may, we cannot fill the void left by their absent fathers.  We were never meant to.

So what do we do?

As I mentioned earlier, I think we all get this on some level, but we are not really desperate enough to do anything about it.  In some weird way, it is like we are staring at the ball headed toward our face from a great distance and we make no attempt to move our of the way.  The enemy has done such a fine job of convincing us that this is just the way it is and we just need to make the best of it.  These subtle lies of his have lulled us into a slumber of sorts that keeps us from fighting for what is right.  The great lies of the enemy that have hindered us so much are lies like, "Amicable Divorce", "I'm just not that kind of dad", or "Dad needs some 'Me Time'".  Any lame excuse a father has for not being around when their kids need them seems to be in full rotation on the excuse turn table.  There are no excuses.  The primary definition of  a husband is to lay down your life for your bride.  This same definition applies to fatherhood.  One has no business having children if they don't also have the guts to father them. 

I'm not advocating the spoiling of children (we are light years from that possibility when it comes to fathers).  I'm talking about just showing up in our kid's lives.  The simple words of encouragement from a dad to a son will set them on a fiery course of greatness.  A gentle whisper of how beautiful his daughter looks will rescue her from an emotional pit of enslavement.  These are not just starting blocks for good fathering, they are indispensable skills.  In fact, one might say this is the very purpose of fatherhood.  Fathers, encourage your sons rather than intimidate and dishearten them.  Fathers, affirm your daughters rather than sadden and dispirit them.

So what do we fathers do?  We father all children that we can.  Sadly, this may be the only hope for many children who are in many respects, orphans.  As for we who are not fathers, we can do two things of value.  First, we pray.  This one thing will fuel the fire of fatherhood in greater capacity than most understand.  Second, allow father's to father.  Provide opportunity for father's to operate.  Give way and let them learn how to do it without correcting their mistakes at every turn.  Affirm their victories and you will inspire greatness.  Constant attention to failure will only breed more of the same.

A message to the children: Don't be afraid to cry out to your fathers.  If you happen to find yourself orphaned, search for a father and don't simply wait around for one to find you.  Initiate the relationship and don't give up.  There is something within every father, a divine spark, that will cause them to have compassion and turn their hearts toward you.  For those who have tried and tried and tried, know that you have a Heavenly father who cares for you and longs to heal your hurts.

Important to note that this notion of being a father or a child has very little to do with age.  There are many children that I strive to father along with my own children and there are still many seasons in my life in which I need to be fathered.